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your latest Cristiano gossip primer

April 15, 2010

It’s been a busy, busy couple of days in the alleged life of Cristiano Ronaldo.

One. If you haven’t heard the latest on Cristiano, read it here.  The gist of it:  a Spanish girl named Naya (“famous” previously for dating the fat and ugly and utterly disgusting Paquirrín – he’s the son of a famous bullfighter and a famous singer, and that’s his only claim to fame.  He’s also the half-brother of Cayetano Rivera, Eva González’s current squeeze) was paid €4,000 euros to sleep with Cristiano and talk about it.  They slept together three times, the third without a condom, with the condoms for the first two times supplied from inside Cris’ Dolce&Gabbana cowboy boots.  (Really Cris?  Cowboy boots?)  Naya awarded him 9.5 points out of 10 for his bedroom prowess, said that if he were a pizza, he’d be a family-sized pizza, and added that he told her he chose her because “fat girls suck it very well.”

When you’ve stopped laughing at the number of ridiculous quotes in that story, continue reading!

Two. Meanwhile, mama Dolores thinks that her son is closer to having a wife and kids than not.  I wonder what she thinks of that latest story?  And what evidence she has for that thought?

Three. And finally, Spanish TV show Sálvame reports that Cristiano had a party at his house the night before the Barça game.  Apparently, Pepe, Marcelo and Iker were also in attendance, although no women were invited.  The party lasted until 5 in the morning, and continued after the game was over.  Sergio Ramos was alleged to have been there as well, but that was proven false after he was found to be in Sevilla with his grandparents for personal reasons.  They go on to say that Cristiano’s contract forbids him from going out and so he throws parties at his house.  Ha!

Cristiano has categorically denied the party story.  He sent out a letter saying that the accusations are completely false and that there is not one grain of truth in them.  He adds that he spent Friday night resting, as there was a game the next day.  And on Saturday, with the result, the last thing he felt like doing was partying.

Cristiano will take legal measures against the show for slander and he hopes the truth will come out and those who have slandered him will be punished.  Real Madrid will also take part in the lawsuit.

Update: The show has admitted that the story was made up and asked for the forgiveness of the players cited in the story.  Meanwhile, Real Madrid will in the future take legal measures against any media outlet that defames their players.

Updated with Four. Cris also allegedly hooked up with Kim Kardashian – she who is also “famous” for doing nothing (other than a sex tape of course) – while she was in Madrid last weekend.  She apparently met up with him after the game and then spent four hours at his house.  All this comes via The Sun, so you can start doubting right away.

My two céntimos. For the party story, I definitely believe Cristiano.  He’s been a model professional since arriving in Madrid and I have no reason to doubt him.  I also doubt that the other guys named as having been at the party would do so.  Pepe’s still recovering from his injury, Marcelo is a new father, and I’m sure Iker would rather spend time with Sara.  Also, assuming the story is fabricated, I find it funny that Kaká was not mentioned as Cristiano’s other BFFs on the team, Marcelo and Pepe, were cited – I guess no one would believe that he would be there and it would instantly disprove the story!

As for the first story, Spain is full of girls like that, and 9 times out of 10 they’re not telling the truth.  Unfortunately, she won’t be the last either as a lot of them would do anything to make an easy euro.

And with regards to the fourth, the U.S. is also like that, no?  Also, see Cristiano’s statement regarding his state of mind on Saturday night after the game.

I feel bad for Cristiano, the tabloids and gossip shows are really out for him, just like they were when Becks first arrived in Spain.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 21, 2010 08:02

    In hindsight, Cristiano’s mum’s comment about babies all makes sense, doesn’t it? :)

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