a day in the life of…
Newspaper El País has parodied an imaginary day in the life of José Mourinho. It’s quite amusing, and I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the events posted about actually occurred…
Highlights:
– good morning. Today, I woke up feeling like the best coach in the world. It’s strange, I hadn’t thought that for two days.
– breakfast with Tami and the kids. I’ve planned for them a dietary plan where they can only consume 433 calories. José Jr. gets out of control and takes in 441.
– watching videos of myself. Sometimes, I am just so amazed by how well I speak. http://cort.as/08gg
– my bodyguard is sick. So, today I’ll have to spend the whole day at home because I don’t want some crazy person to keep me from my destination.
– it appears that Spanish football is rigged. I would do anything to win, but I have too much class to do these types of things. http://cort.as/08hO
– speaking on the phone with Kaká. How sensitive is this boy: he says he’s not going to cry over his injuries and he feels hurt. Soft!
– all the players are crazy about me. Normal. But I prefer that they fear me more than they love me.
– this boy writes pretty well. He plays that secondary sport… what’s it called… basketball? http://cort.as/0-kt
– I’m humble. I will admit there there’s a possibility that I won’t win the World Cup when I coach Portugal: when God calls me to his side to take charge of something up there.
– poor Ibra. Look at him, having to play for a team like Barça… http://cort.as/08jT
– I might have been wrong in saying that it would be a failure if we don’t win two titles. I should have said three.
– I have a lot of desire to see this kid’s face again. And to beat him again.
– preparing quotes for the future: “Madrid is the best team in the world. The strange thing is that I didn’t coach them until now.” Does that sound too arrogant? I hate YouTube.
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Can you imagine what other days in the life of… would be like? Here’s how I imagine some of them would start.
Kaká: wake up, reach for the Bible, and start reading.
Cristiano: wake up, slide out of bed (the silk sheets feel so good), walk up to the mirror and look at myself. Is it too early to call Kaká?
Sergio: wake up excited, because I get to wear my new orange pants with my new Louis Vuitton bag and Gucci belt! Estoy súper contento, ¿no?
Iker: wake up, get out of bed, trip over Sara’s ugly shoes and my man bag, which are on the floor where we left them last night. Decide not to shave, again.
Benzema/Drenthe/Özil: wake up, hop in the shower, start rapping.
Albiol/Arbeloa/Xabi: wake up, go check on the kid(s). Think about what pose the four musketeers will do today for the twitter world.
Rafa: wake up, say a quick prayer that today won’t be the day that Madrid sells me, and stay in bed, because I am married to Sylvie van der Vaart.
Pipita/Garay: wake up, call Garay/Pipita.
Your thoughts?
Oh my gosh… I adore your site! Trying v. hard not to laugh out loud right now.
Thanks!!
Thank you very much for the laugh, I think your imagination is spot on! I especially like the ones about Iker, Sergio and Kaka.
My thoughts are the same
Jajaja this is hilarious!! Yes it is too early cristiano, becz kaka still reading bible and can’t pick up your call! And i think both arbeloa and albiol will also think about call each other..
hahahahah thats funny…u should do something like that for the natl team thatd be funny!
I’m laughing tears right now. Mou’s stuff is funny, but yours are better.
This is funny, love Iker and Cristiano’s start to the morning.
Hahaha! That is hilarious especially Cristiano!!! He probably does some squats to work those thighs first thing or during the call with Kaka.
Poor Rafa! Noooo Please don’t sell him – or if FP/TSO do so, they need to get Floris! Then it will be the five (we want six but you know who won’t participate) musketeers!
yeah Cris will definitely do some workout after getting up. 😉
Haha this is amazing – I also like the snarky comments about Spain’s WC win, and the chat with Kaká:
“I don’t understand why they’re so proud of winning the World Cup in Spain. They lost against a puny little team like Switzerland, they scored very few goals, and Holland deserved to win the final. Although I can’t say any of this now that I’m in Madrid. Or can I?”
“Phone conversation with Kaká. This boy is so sensitive! You say you’re not going to cry over his wounds and he feels hurt! Soft!”
As for your day in the life scenarios… I think they’re pretty spot-on!
Thank you for having Sergio wake up alone 😀 that makes me súper contento hahaha!
I know right? :-p
(Also, if there were a girl, he’d probably dress himself a little better…)
Lol thats ok I’ll take a SINGLE poorly dressed Sergio any day 😉
Hahahaha! I didn’t notice that! 😀 I think Una did that on purpose because she can sense the pain and horror us Sergio fans have been going through recently..
I think when this is all over and the hair is long and luscious again Im going to make survivor t-shirts haha “I survived THE HAIRCUT Aug, 16, 2010” haha yes I remember the date….
ummm…has anyone seen this?….pain and horror forgotten! prepare to be left breathless, oh my! http://yfrog.com/j1o0jj
Ha! I did see that, like an hour ago. I was like… uhhhh nevermind, we’re good, Serge. Meet me in bed in 5 minutes!
Haha I can learn to share! 😉 I wish I could have somehow recorded my reaction to the first haircut pic and to this one, polar opposites!!! I mean with the first one I almost cried, I was like “WHAT…DID…HE…DOOOOO!” And then when I saw the luncheon pic, it was more of a “Oh heyyyy…how you doin?” kind of thing lol
LMAO hilarious I bet Kaka does read the bible as soon as he wakes up.
HAHAHAHA! This cracks me up! AWESOME! Thank you!!!
one of the wittiest blogs… keep them coming.
*lol*
Your ideas are soooo funny, but I can definitely see all of them doing this!
Thanks for your great work here!:)
LOOOL! The Cristiano bit was my favorite 😀 Silk sheets? Typical! *cringe*
“go check on the kid(s)” awwwwww!! I love the Dads of the group!
But very well done, Una! *round of applause*
GREAT!!!!!!!! Very very funny and absolutely to the point!!!:)
hilarious, awesome! your imagination is unbelievable! also, like maisoun, thank you for having sergio wake up alone, no matter what he’s thinking of wearing!
Hi! this is awesome. but can someone pls translate what mourinho said in the video?
the best thing was pretty much in the beginning where he said to a reporter:
“I promise you, you write a starting XI and Ill play with it!”
HAHA that man is a pure entertainment. Just type in Mourinho in any of the picture databases… the mimics just cracking me up. Would be an idea for your blog una 😉 *hint hint*
translation of mourinho: “today, tomorrow, always with barca in the (my) heart”
the other video is too much for me to translate out for you right now. but it’s pretty funny.
Have you heard about it http://www.telemadrid.es/?q=programas/directorio_programas/crackovia ?
i love your blog. most ardently.
L-O-L!!!! This is hilarious! Well done!!!
I love Kaka’s and especially Iker’s!
I bet that’s exactly what he does!