I love Crackòvia and I think the program is genius and hilarious, but they really do need to get a new angle with Real Madrid. The arrogant Mou quoting his press conferences, dumb Sergio and vain Cristiano are getting a bit tedious. It’s the same week after week, just repackaged for the latest happenings in Madrid. With that said, this week’s skit is quite funny.
SR: (imitating José Mourinho) Yesterday we beat Sevilla with 10 men and today we have this great Christmas dinner.
JM: None of that. They gave me a list of 13 grave errors. The shrimps are frozen. The champagne is hot. The chef didn’t advise me of… you want more?
CR: Oh, you’re always the one defending us, míster. I’d give you a ten.
JM: A ten?
CR: An eleven?
JM: That’s much better. Then they’re going to say that this year we didn’t win anything. Well, with this dinner, I’ve gained (same word for win and gain in Spanish) four kilos.
SR: (imitating Mou).
JM: What happened to your mouth? Why are you full of it?
CR: Everyone, it’s time for the Secret Santa gifts! Let’s go, everyone get together to open them!
Ok, I’ll do it alone, like during the games.
Oh, it’s for me. What a coincidence. Oh. But didn’t we agree that we wouldn’t spend more than €100,000 for the gifts? Who was it? Idiots. It was me.
JM: Come on, let’s open the rest of the gifts. Look, this one’s for Sergio.
SR: Ahhh, for Sergio Ramos. And I am José Mourinho.
CR: Why are you so obsessed with the míster? No matter how much you imitate him, he’s not going to listen to you. Idiot.
SR: It’s just that the paper I got had “Mourinho” on it. And I have to imitate him throughout the entire dinner.
CR: No, you have to buy him a gift. That’s what Secret Santa is about.
SR: ¿Amigo invisible? ¡Amigo invisible! ¡Hola amigo invisible! (Secret Santa in Spanish is amigo invisible, literally “invisible friend.”) You’re looking much better now.
CR: But then… if you didn’t get the míster a gift…
JM: THERE’S NO PRESENT FOR ME!
Everyone is punished! You’ll train on Christmas day and go two months without playing!
CR: But if we’re not going to play, who will play, míster?
JM: The boys of the cantera. Come on!
CR: Idiots.
SR: Ahhh, those are the invisible friends. Now I understand everything. But… if they’re invisible, how come I can see them? What vicissitudes Christmas has, no?