in case you missed it – the sidelines edition

In case you missed it – Levante vs. Real Madrid [2011-01-06].

It wasn’t the best gift from los Reyes Magos, and to be honest it was probably a big waste of my time to watch this game, but the important thing is that Madrid is through to the quarterfinals of the Copa del Rey for the first time in five years.  The only reason why I’m doing an ICYMI post for this game – since there’s no point really when Madrid loses – is because there actually were a lot of fun things about the game, just not on the field.  Everything interesting happened off of it, on the sidelines, or at least when the ball was not in play.

One. My actions during the game matched Mou’s, whether it was complaining, grimacing or constantly checking the time to see how much longer the game would last.

Two. The banquillo was where the most exciting action was taking place.  Why else do you think La Sexta’s cameras kept panning to there?

Kaká, Pepe and Lass had fun – and who can blame them, since the game was painful to watch at times.  And Benzema was surprisingly cheerful, despite his dismal performance, showing off his favorite pose, which didn’t impress Lass at all.  How cute is Pacheco?

And the second time was the charm for Mou.  The first time he said something to his players, they all kept straight faces.  The second time, they all cracked up, from the easily amused Pepe to the stoic Lass.  Compare and contrast.

Three. There are some excellent heads of curly hair on the team.  Pedro León’s full head of hair just looks so lush.  El Pirata’s hairstyle works perfectly for the look he’s got going on.  And I’m glad Fer finally realized that a mullet doesn’t work on anyone.

Four. David Mateos, a central defender, was used as a fullback.  As was winger Juanfran, who came in to sub for him when the former suffered cramps.  The inopportune timing of Mateos’ cramps meant that MFC, who was all set to sub in, could not, as Madrid had used up all three substitutions by that point.  Even the commentator said, when the camera panned to Álvaro after the frustrated attempt, “Mira Morata, el pobre” (look at Morata, that poor thing).

Here’s what happened, in images.  Álvaro Morata was all set to check into the game.  Proper hydration?  Check.  Last minute instructions from Mou?  Check.  Perfect hair?  Check.  Then, out on the field, David went down with cramps.  And up went Mou’s arm, to block Morata from completing the check-in procedure.  Juanfran was then called off the bench to replace Mateos.

This meant that MFC was sent back to the bench, pobrecito.  But being the nice kid that he is, he chose to spend his time commiserating with Mateos, and biting his nails.  I absolutely love Álvaro Borja Morata Martín.

Five. Front and back.™

Álvaro Arbeloa.  For more on his injury – why he sported a bandage on his chin – see below.

Karim Benzema. He didn’t do much else yesterday besides posing for “front and back”™ (merci Karim).

The legal Sergio Canales.

Pedro León.  Has Adidas been listening to my suggestions skimping on material for the kits, because they were very transparent yesterday?

David Mateos.  He’s really all legs.  I’ll keep the “Bambi” nickname for him in case it doesn’t work out for Ozi.

Antonio Adán (front) and Sami Khedira (back).  Because there were no good shots of the back of Adán and the front of Sami.

Bonus backs.

Six. Near the end of the first half, Álvaro Arbeloa’s chin collided with the head of a Levante player, and both came away injured.  Álvaro’s chin must be very pointy and sharp, along with the head of the rival.  Anyway, he had to get fixed up by the medical staff – Sergio Ramos also checked him out – and since he got blood on his shirt, he had to change it.  Yay!

At first, I was bemoaning La Sexta for just focusing on his head and shoulders, but then they gave us this replay, below left.  That’s what I call a fantastic regalo de Reyes. Below right is Álvaro putting on his new shirt.

Because I know you want to see bigger pictures.  Click to enlarge to see the expression of concern on Sergio’s face, and Alvarito’s impressive upper body.

He also sent this tweet after the game:  “Hi friends, how are you?  I’m good.  Thanks for being concerned about me… I got three stitches on my chin, and without anesthesia, like a good Spartan…”

He’s perfect, isn’t he?  How can he and Xabi Alonso exist in the same universe, much less the same city and the same team?

Seven. Kaká made his second appearance this season.  He got prepped by Aitor Karanka, who had to keep flipping pages to get to the end of the instructions.  Richi also had the generous gesture of giving his sweatshirt to a kid in the crowd, and once on the field, he kept adjusting his shorts.  And as soon as he stepped onto the field, he started making friends.

Eight. Other fun moments – see, I told you all the fun was when the ball was not in play.

Taking advantage of the break to attend to the injured players, several of our players got hydrated.  And then late in the game, several of Levante’s players got to play with the new doll they received from the Kings had the nice gesture of helping out Sergio Canales when he got cramps.

And obviously, the game was very boring, because La Sexta’s cameras also focused on the frogs that can be found all over the stadium.  Levante’s mascot since 1923 is a frog, nicknamed Granotas, since the team in the 1920s played next to the old riverbed of the Turia River, where thousands of frogs lived.

Nine. The (I miss Xabi Alonso) pose(ing) section.™

It’s just not the same without him.

Ten. The I miss Iker yelling section.

It’s just not the same without him.

Eleven. Other game notes:  a minute of silence was held before the game for Mercedes Montero, FP’s mother-in-law, who had passed away.  FP didn’t attend the game although he had traveled to Valencia, because he returned to Madrid to be with his wife.

And both clubs honored Antonio Calpe, who had played for both teams, before the game.  Real Madrid presented him with a replica of the Bernabéu and FP said of Calpe, “Real Madrid is what it is thanks to players like Antonio Calpe, who have served this institution with the values that make it a grand team.  This club is a big family that takes cares of all its former players.”  Calpe also received from his former Madrid teammate Pachín a shirt with his name on it and the golden insignia of the Association of former Real Madrid players.  Calpe also got to do the saque de honor before the game.

Fernando Gago wore the captain’s armband for the first official time in his Real Madrid career.

Twelve. Other notes:  The Copa del Rey hasn’t been very kind to us in the last decade.  In 2002, it was the centenariazo.  We lost again in the final against Zaragoza in 2004.  And in 2007 and 2008, Madrid failed to shine, and was eliminated by Betis and Mallorca, respectively.  The 2009 campaign is probably remembered more for Rubén de la Red collapsing against Real Unión than for the actual games and results, and of course, last year was the Alcorconazo. The last two are both teams in the Segunda B division, by the way.

And Marca reported that in the first leg of the round of 16, several of the Madrid players had been disrespectful towards Levante.  When the scoreboard read 6-0, Di María apparently told one of the rivals, “don’t touch my shirt, because I don’t want you to dirty it.”  Özil said the same thing to Juanlu, but in English (of course).  It this is true, I do not like this behavior at all.  If you wear that escudo on your chest, you should not indulge in this type of behavior.

Thirteen. The Mou corner.

Mou protagonized a little incident with Levante defender Sergio Ballesteros at the half.  Apparently, Sergio B. yelled at Mou to take out Pepe (Pepe had been warming up) saying it was a lack of respect to bring in Pepe.  Silvino Louro stepped in to defuse the situation.  Mou said later, “I told the person who was yelling that I had decided on this change three days ago.  A lack of respect would be to bring in Iker as a forward or Pepe as a goalkeeper.  I would never do that.  I don’t know who Ballesteros is.”

There were also some chants against Mou during the end of the game.  He said later at the press conference, “it’s a matter of education, nothing more.  If I see my son doing that, he would not be allowed to return to the stadium.  If a friend of mine does that, I’ll criticize him to his face.  But I can’t stop people from doing what they want to.”

He also said, “I can’t criticize my players because it was difficult from them to concentrate fully, knowing that we had already qualified.  It wasn’t easy to motivate them.  In spite of that, they had a positive attitude, because a lot of them hadn’t played very much before this.  You have to keep in mind that this was the first game that Mateos, Gago, Adán and Garay started.”

Then why he was writing in his little notebook when the clock had not yet reached the six-minute mark?

According to Mou, Luis García had said from his bench:

They gave me this penalty that I didn’t need, and on Saturday against Barcelona they didn’t give me one that I did need.

And a rare fashion misstep from Mou.  He apparently forgot to pack a scarf, and had to borrow a neck warmer thingie from the team.  It made him look a bit like a priest.

Fourteen. Looking ahead:  Real Madrid will face neighbors Atlético de Madrid in the quarterfinals of the Copa del Rey.  The first leg will be disputed on Jan. 13 at 22h the Bernabéu, with the second leg on Jan. 19 or 20 at the Calderón.  If Madrid makes it to the semifinals, they’ll face the winner of the Villarreal-Sevilla match-up.

The team trained this morning to start preparing for Sunday’s game against Villarreal.  It was a closed training session, except for Chad Ochocinco, who’s visiting Madrid and got to hang out with the players.

Fifteen. And as for Gonzalo Higuaín, he’ll travel to the U.S. on Saturday for his operation, as he’s scheduled to undergo some tests before the surgery on Tuesday.  He wanted to travel with his parents, but since they hold Argentine passports, it was a bit harder for them to get visas, so they probably won’t be able to accompany their son.  Gonzalo holds a French passport, since he was born in France, so it was easy for him to get the visa.  Carlos Díez, the head of Sanitas’ medical services, will travel with Pipita to observe the operation.

Sixteen. Ahhhh!!!!!  Just in:  Pepe got injured during the game, has a muscle injury to his left calf and is expected to be out four weeks!!!

Really, at what point during this season will we be able to count on all our defenders?