ICYMI – the body edition
In case you missed it – Valencia vs. Real Madrid [2011-11-19, Liga jornada 13, 2-3].
Well, I won’t get into the technical aspects of this very agonizing game, which gave us three golden points, because that’s not what I do here. Instead, you’ll find another themed ICYMI post. This one is called “the body edition,” because this game was all about parts of the body, from José Callejón’s back and Karim’s abs to Gonzalo Higuaín’s chest (or arm according to Valencia) and Sergio’s lips and ear.
(It seems that everyone wanted this post, so here it is. I’m in a generous mood at the moment, but I can’t promise to always be generous in the future.)
When Sergio Ramos scored his goal (which incidentally was a header), his teammates immediately went for his head in their celebration, so Sergio ended up with very messy hair. I love how he ran to the sideline to celebrate with the bench, and how ecstatic Marcelo was.
Sergio is the fourth defender to score this season, after Pepe, Marcelo and Varane. He said after the game that the celebration, with his hand behind his ear as if he couldn’t hear something, was not aimed at the fans in the Mestalla, but because his mother always tells him that she never hears him when he tells her “I love you,” so the goal celebration was dedicated to her.
… AND EYES.
Earlier in the game, Marcelo had taken advantage of a sitting Sergio to stealthily touch Sergio’s hair. You see it? He then caressed Sergio’s face, along with Pepe. Why can’t I be that lucky? Meanwhile, at another point in the game, our two centerbacks wanted vigilance from their teammates and expressed that by pointing at their eyes. I had a professor who used to do that, he would put his finger at the corner of his eye and say “ojo.”
Karim Benzema celebrated his goal by sticking out his tongue. I love that he had a special hug for Xabi, who of course had given him a perfectly placed ball to finish off. Notice Xabi’s patting of Karim’s ass.
THE NECK AND SHOULDERS.
In an attempt to evade those idiots with lasers, Cris moved his neck and shoulders around (much like Iker during the interview with “El Partido de las 12”). Later on, when he made the sleeping gesture at David Albelda, it was once again by moving his neck.
Trust Xabi to be the one to use his arms in a multitude of ways, and with mucha clase as well. First he used them to do his usual hands on hips pose, then to shove Albelda, then to pull Sergio away from Albelda. Later on, when Roberto Soldado wanted to pick a fight, Xabi used his arms to show that he would not be provoked into a fight. I also love that Sergio and Pepe, two players known for being hotheads, were playing the role of peacemaker.
The arms can also be used to show how much of a piña we are.
… AND FINGERS.
Both Xabi and Mou also used their arms to express their disbelief over the yellow card that Xabi had received. As for fingers, I love this moment when Mou wagged his about 10 times – and alternating between both hands! – at several of the Valencia players.
As the halftime whistle blew, Karim Benzema removed his jersey and exchanged it with fellow French national Adil Rami. I am so grateful for that gesture. After the game, he and Adil walked off arm in arm.
And of course, the chest of Gonzalo Higuaín was the point of contention in the final seconds of the game. This is in the chest section, because the ball hit his chest, and not his arm. Remember several seasons ago, when Sergio was in a similar situation and so the club released a photo of him topless with a clear outline of the ball on his chest? Too bad it didn’t happen again.
The back was the focal point of the third goal celebration. Cristiano ended up on his back on the field, flopping over after scoring the goal. I love everyone’s position in this photo.
Later on, once Marcelo had pulled Cris up off the ground, he got hugs from the aforementioned Marcelo, as well as Pipita. Meanwhile, on the sideline, Mou and José Callejón were celebrating, with the former jumping onto the back of the latter, who gave him a mini piggyback ride, before both did the same arm pump gesture.
THE UPPER ABS…
We’re so lucky because the abs section is divided into two parts. For the upper abs, we have Karim and his much improved abs…
… AND LOWER ABS.
For the lower abs, we have El Espartano himself, Álvaro Arbeloa flashing his six-pack not once but twice during the game! I want to go to there.
After the game, Álvaro Arbeloa revealed that during the halftime, he had asked to be subbed out, because he couldn’t take any more, as he had returned injured from national team duty. He added that he played as well as he could during the first half, but that he was limited. He also said that five minutes after starting the game, he knew that he could not take any more.
Do you know who this little ass belongs to?
It’s Xabi Alonso.
Iker proved to be a tease before the game, giving us a glimpse of his (pale) thigh. Meanwhile, the legs led to the first and third goals from Karim and Cristiano, respectively.
Iker was forced to have his ankle wraps spray painted yellow before the game, while Gonzalo Higuaín was forced to put red tape around his. The refs have been really serious about enforcing this measure recently.
All eyes were on Cristiano’s feet, as he debuted his new boots. I found out that they’re not supposed to evoke zebras, but rather pinstripes.
THE WHOLE BODY.
All together, those parts of course form a body, which can be used for so many things, from dancing, like Karim did after the game, to making girls happy, as Iker did before the game (not in that way!). That moment made me laugh. A band was walking by in front of the goal where Iker was warming up. All the males passed by Iker without any reaction, but as soon as the girls saw him, they all ran to him to pose for a picture. Iker definitely has that kind of attracting power, no?
It’s such a shame that Madrid feels the need to cover up these bodies, no? Madrid debuted the red kit in the Liga (I love it) and also these white warmup jackets with gold accents.
Madridistas! Sergio Canales – still on crutches due to his injured leg – was in the stands watching, and before the game, Roberto Soldado received a kiss from Sergio (lucky boy) and hugs from Marcelo and Xabi.
Iker + Sergio = mustard and ketchup. Or even a Cola Cao container.
The Xabi Alonso pose section.™
I love infiltrator Xabi! Mesut, meanwhile, looks lost.
The Karanka corner.
After the game, Aitor Karanka was asked whether he felt embarrassed by the refereeing. I loved his response: “one never feels embarrassment when he defends the shirt of Real Madrid.” As for Mou’s celebration of the third goal, Aitor remarked, “he celebrated like that with Pedro León last year against Milan, I hope it’s not the last time and that there are many more.”
– Raúl Albiol got an ovation from his former afición when he checked into the game.
– Madrid received seven yellow cards on the night: Arbeloa, Cristiano, Marcelo, Özil, Sergio Ramos, Xabi Alonso and Esteban Granero.
– we also got a ton of photos from the boys of the trip back to Madrid, as everyone was in a good mood. Iker posted this photo of 2/3 of the A-team, and described Álvaro Arbeloa’s smile as belonging in a “toothpaste ad.” Sergio gave us this photo of the three goalscorers of the night.
I was trying to avoid the thumb (obviously my least favorite body part) in the post, but this photo of Iker and Gonzalo is too adorable not to include, no? Thankfully, there were no thumbs up in this other photo of Lass, Karim and Nuri.
And now I’m off to stare at the pictures from Athletic’s suit presentation (despite not liking the ties). Javi (!!!) needs a haircut. Why can’t Madrid do something like that? Usually, the less they wear, the more I prefer it, but since these boys look fantastic in suits, a fashion show is definitely desired.