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yo soy Esteban Granero…

December 27, 2011

The “tomas falsas” video is out (yay!), and it can be used as evidence (the kind that can hold up in court) that this really is the most adorable team ever, full of characters (and only on par with La Roja, in my opinion).  Plus, they all have the most adorable laughs, no?

Here are my highlights (as you can see, it’s basically the entire video); what are yours?

0:04 – the person off camera says, “Pepe, no improvising, we’re just going to wish all the madridistas a happy holidays.”  Marcelo and Pepe respond, “we’re going to  be here all afternoon.”  According to the web site, Pepe also said, “it’s impossible to do it well with Marcelo.”  It took more than five minutes for them to do their part, as we can see from the multiple outtakes we have of this fantastic duo – half of the video is of them!  Marcelo and Pepe really need their own show, along with Cris, and with the rest of the team making guest appearances.

0:41 – Gonzalo kicks things off with a “vamos Ricky.”  Kaká says, “this is an example – a Brazilian and an Argentine sending out Christmas wishes.  It’s a union.”  Pipa echoes, “union.  This is una familia.  Una flia.  Una flia.

0:58 – Marcelo asks where Crís is!

1:08 – Pepe singing (apparently the only song he knows).

1:33 – Mesut uses a falsetto voice to say his line, while Sami says let’s be serious.

1:58 – Pepe: “it’s impossible to do.”

2:04 – Álvaro’s take on a Christmas classic.  I love it!

2:21 – Marcelo’s serious face.

2:27 – José Callejón: “you’re going to talk about dreams?  Then I’ll remove that from my vocabulary.”

2:36 – Pipa: “I want to report that I’m with Ricardo Kaká, and I am Esteban Granero (again)!”

3:05 – after having corrected Fábio earlier, Cris now laughs at his pronunciation attempts, which causes Fábio to crack up.

3:12 – Marcelo gets excited that next year is 2012 – “it’s my year!” (because of the 12).  Pepe complains about having to do more takes.

3:31 – Xabi: “… and then I come in.”  Sergio: “hey coño, give me a bit of room to maneuver.”  Then they argue over who gets to talk about the new year.

3:43 – Silvino conducts Ricky and Gonzalo.  Pipita doesn’t know the words because Ricky sings “Jingle Bells” in English, so he kind of na na nas his way through.

4:05 – Pepe bursts into song again.

4:13 – Callejón: “Tom Cruise called me to do a movie.”  Antonio: “Tom Cruise?  The director would call you, not the actor.”  Jajajajajajaja!!!!!!!

4:21 – the twins argue over who starts.

AA – do you want me to start?  Do you know yet?

RA – no, but you start.

AA – it’s better that I start.  It’s all the same to me.  Do you know what I’m going to say?

RA – no.

RA – no, I’ll start.

AA – fine, you start.

RA – no, you start, you start.

AA – (words, lots and lots of them…………………………………………………………………………….)

RA – Merry Christmas.

5:21 – Pepe: “you speak, then I speak, and then we say together, ‘happy holidays to all of el madridismo.'”  Marcelo: “together?”  Pepe: “together.”

I’m surprised there was no Iker and Esteban, despite Iker’s superlong monologue.  He didn’t mess up once?  So he is perfect!

The web site also reports that José Callejón was behind the cameraperson when the French players were filming their part to mess with them, and that he teased Karim Benzema about his white jacket.  I have to say that I absolutely ADORE the addition of José Callejón to this team.

Luckily, that really annoying intro is missing, though we do get another super-long one (which was removed from the version posted on youtube).  I could also do without the fake snow, and I wish the outtakes had filled the entire screen and didn’t require you to crane your neck to watch it.  Seriously, is the video department at Real Madrid made of amateurs?  So much fantastic material to work with, yet they make each experience somewhat painful.

And be sure to check out the Castilla video for some singing of villancicos, and Álvaro López doing his message in English!

The first team should have released another video in which they all spoke their native languages, no?

29 Comments leave one →
  1. Henrik permalink
    December 27, 2011 15:12


  2. mickymacky permalink
    December 27, 2011 16:10

    una una una… thank you so much for translating! and (belated)merry christmas to you!

  3. December 27, 2011 16:24

    I can never believe Iker and Pirata got this through without messing up anything!!
    Either they made childish and simple mistakes or they just messed a lot and a lot so that cannot be added to this video.
    Pity we cannot see them burst out laughing 😦

  4. Agne permalink
    December 27, 2011 16:48

    Yes! I thought about the video in their natinve languages too! It would be amazing!
    And like always outtakes are much better then the real video!… Though I hate the snowflakes and the super tiny screen…..

  5. December 27, 2011 16:51

    OMG I can’t stop laughing everytime I watch the video! I agree with you, Marcelo and Pepe need their own show! Such a happy fellas! And aww, the hand-holding is so sweet. I really love when Mesut talks in high pitch voice! I never heard him talk like that before! Also, I really, really, really love the singing!!! Most adorable team, indeed! ❤

  6. amouria permalink
    December 27, 2011 16:59

    Pepe and Marcelo: they should get the greatest award for entertaining the team and the fans

    Arbiloa: hahaha with his sunglasses, adorable..
    Even Lass looks happy and relaxed
    Coanterao and Ronaldo? a bit boring!!
    Ozil…i wished there was more of his wit
    Alonso, a bit bossy, usual..
    Ramos, our lovely boy, wish i could hiss him on his cheek…
    All in all, this is the greatest and funniest team in the world
    no wonder why we are envied by the rest, hahaha

  7. Sarah, Madrid permalink
    December 27, 2011 18:08

    Simply, I love this team, I LOVE IT!!, it should been called Pepe and Marcelo show with specail features of the rest, I love that Marcelo asked about Cris!!

    I think the only reason Alonso messed up is because he is paired up with Ramos *sorry Sergio*, otherwise he should be with Iker, Granero at the back judging everyone :p

    I can’t think of any other club as adorable as this, I agree! we are the most adorable club out-there, I can challenge anyone :p, I still don’t know how do Marcelo and Pepe play, train every day together, how do they behave infront of Mourinho, please I would like to know? I could imagine them laughing or making noises while Mourinho is addressing the team, I will never take them seriously, sames goes to Pipa :P.

    Calle I agree, best addition, where have you been?

  8. Em20 permalink
    December 27, 2011 19:14

    I absolutly love them 🙂 They really make me happy. I have seen this video like 4 times and i can’t stop laughing! I adore your blog Una all your posts are fantastic. I hope you continue doing this. Thanks Una 🙂

  9. manie permalink
    December 27, 2011 19:30

    I love everything about this video but I agree, Callejon stole the show!

  10. helina permalink
    December 27, 2011 20:18

    Omg Mesut’s high voice and laugh is too adorable ❤

    Pipa has some serious obsession: he clearly wants to be Esteban Granero lol.

    Marcelo and Pepe are too cute and funny, I want to adopt them both.

    And Adan, Calleti, Cris, Kaká, Arbeloa, Albiol…everybody is so funny. God I love our boys so much ❤

  11. Pammie permalink
    December 27, 2011 21:39

    perfect post and video is perfect! 😀

    I fully support that Pepe and Marcelo need to get their own comedy show on RealmadridTV! 😀 they were hilarious.
    Álvaro looked like one of those tacky santa’s with wagging his shades and singing at the same time, lmao
    Pipita should have sang longer, he’s a wannabe singer after all 😛

  12. Alyssa permalink
    December 27, 2011 23:20

    Every single one of these boys is too adorable for words!

    ps. I wholeheartedly agree about Callejon! 🙂

  13. @ulonghaz permalink
    December 28, 2011 01:25

    they are cracking me up….

  14. December 28, 2011 02:28

    This is really funny!!! My favorite is the Christmas carol in English with the sunglasses going up and down.

  15. December 28, 2011 04:06

    Alvaro posted this on Facebook and I was laughing even if I couldn’t understand a word! And yes, the video was half Pepe and Marcelo! The funny thing was that their outtakes were even longer than their final part in the video! I can’t imagine how much crazier things would’ve been if Cris was with them.

    I wondered why there was no Iker and Esteban, too. Could it be that they didn’t mess up at all? That XIT was perfect as well?

    Una, by the way, would you know if the Twitter account @IkerCasillasF is Iker’s official Twitter page? There have been tweets since September. And the Tweets are in the same vein as what Iker posts in his FB page.

  16. TexFan permalink
    December 28, 2011 04:51

    I love these boys!! They are super awesome. I will be glad to lend my broadcast journalism skills to the team any time they need a proper video. I did kinda feel like I was looking into someone’s window while they taped a christmas video gram.

  17. Ash permalink
    December 28, 2011 09:50

    ah, thanks for the translation! Although I definitely found it comical despite the language barrier when I watched it beforehand. I loved the contrast of Marcelo/Pepe, who struggled & argued because they couldn’t stay serious, vs the Sergio/Xabi conflict because they were too serious, Xabi wanting to dictate who was to say what, and when.. haha so typical. Btw, did Pepe keep saying “vaya comer”?—if so that’s really funny, I was taking it as “hurry up so we can go eat.” What was Marcelo saying at 3:55? haha whatever it was I loved that part, Pepe acted mad but then started singing again and they both crack up. In short I love getting to see glimpses of our players without their game faces on!

  18. shan permalink
    December 28, 2011 15:51

    all of it was too cute. Some of my favorites (other than the ones you listed):

    1) Xabi’s laugh. It’s adorable.
    2) Ramos speaking Andaluz. It always makes me happy
    3) Pepe being super “handsy” with Marcelo
    4) My mom thinking that Ozil was a girl….

  19. maria permalink
    December 28, 2011 21:24

    Arbeloa totally won me over with his singing: I just love Spaniards speaking english, they have the sexiest accent!! “I wish you a merry chrrristmas”… So adorable!! I wish I could say the same about Pipa, but unfortunately he didn’t quite sing jingle bells… just mumbled some weird sounds…
    And Pepe and Marcelo are just so much fun!! Totally agree that they had to have their own tv show!!!! I loved Pepe complaining about being paired with Marcelo every 2 seconds… Hahahhahahhahahaah… They are a hilarious!!
    And couldn’t agree more with Calleti – Karim’s white jacket is terrible… Good Lord, the boys need to get some serious fashion counceling!! I’m sure you’d love to do that job Una, and I can tell you’d be perfect for it – u know the boys better then no one else and you have excellent common sense about fashion and what works or not for them!!

  20. mel permalink
    December 28, 2011 22:49

    I am SOOOOOOOOOO in love with Calleti!!!!!

  21. amouria permalink
    December 29, 2011 00:13

    Just found this lovely video and wanted to share with you…see how intimate our players are:-)

  22. Jess permalink
    December 29, 2011 08:20

    .I love Marcelo’s ” Madre mia de mi vida y de mi corazon” especially the way he said it
    .Varane was so adorable! and Özil is just perfection.
    .What about Higuain’s random “Hay que reir para no llorar”?
    Do Argentines and Brazilians not like each other?
    .Am i the only one that thinks that Adan and Callejon look alike? or maybe it’s just the hair
    .I also wanna take the time to say that Arbeloa can easily be the perfect man (he’s handsome,sexy,funny,spanish,plays football, gorgeous smile…..)
    . Coentrao’s eyes when he smiles<3
    . 3:27 probably was of my favorite parts in this video. Xabi's laugh omg
    . Marcelo and Pepe. Are they even real?
    . Just wanna point out Özil's cuteness again

  23. Gianni permalink
    December 29, 2011 12:37

    My favorite part was when marcelo cracked up! he has the cutest laugh! what did pepe say/do to make him crack up like that?

  24. Aguante Pipita permalink
    December 29, 2011 19:42

    Wish Pipa would have attempted the jingle bells in english!

  25. December 31, 2011 02:16

    this entire video is perfection, from beginning to end. you can keep all your other teams, our boys are flat-out ADORABLE. i couldn’t even pick a favourite part, it all made me squeal with glee, despite not understanding any of it!! ❤ ❤ ❤

    it is impossible to watch marcelo (and pepe) and not grin from ear to ear! arbeloa, i think, was a little tipsy — i LOVED his christmas carol (and now every time i hear it, i'm going to have his version and accent stuck in my head) and i loved the wiggly sunglasses and how he so clearly adores albiol (and vice versa!). calleti is so cute (and yes, i think he and adan look a bit alike, too), and pretty much anything kaka says or does, i automatically adore (i'm still not over the adorableness of the expression on his face in his 2-second clip in the FIFA12 video game christmas advert). and who knew ozi had such a sense of humour in him? (ever since someone said he looked like a drunken aunt in another post, i see it even more in this outtake! ha!) and, finally, of course, el capi and el pirata are perfection personified and probably did it all in one take. *sigh*

    perfection, i'm telling you! i am bookmarking this one for the future for when i'm having a bad day. better than puppies and kittens and rainbows and unicorns combined! gracias, una! xo

  26. January 2, 2012 09:45

    Marcelo and Pepe omg! I can’t even with the two of them. And then Mesut and his falsetto and how Sami’s all, “I just want this dooooone.” All the hearts and love and basically: we have the most adorable team of ever.

    And if RM ever wants someone to do their videos in a non-angled way sans snowflakes, I will be there faster than you can say Madridista.

  27. May 28, 2012 19:47

    Reblogged this on teresamunoz91.


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