ICYMI – the therapy edition

In case you missed it – Real Madrid vs. Real Sociedad [2012-03-24, Liga jornada 30, 5-1].

This game was very therapeutic, no?  I have absolutely hated all the recent drama, and I just wanted to see a good football game, and I got that Saturday night at the Bernabéu.

ONE. Álvaro Arbeloa, his thighs and Xabi Alonso rallying the troops before the game.  Need I say more?

TWO.  I guess Iker wore yellow socks so that no one would confuse him with one of the referees.  After all, they’ve become José Mourinho’s mortal enemies.

THREE. Iker was upset with the defense as the first half drew to an end.  As the players were walking off the field at the conclusion of the first half, Iker started talking with Sergio, and it looked like a very heated conversation, with lots of hand gestures and motions.  According to the analysts over at Cuatro, Iker was telling Sergio that he wanted a wall made up of only four men in free kick situations, and the field players had been lining up in walls of five.  They were still arguing as they headed into the tunnel.

Cuatro also showed us this conversation, mostly between Iker and Sergio, several minutes earlier.

First, Iker told Kaká to get out of the wall.  Then after the kick had been taken, “¡la puta madre!”  Then he shouted at Sergio, “you don’t realize that I can’t see anything?  ¡Hostia!”  Sergio’s response was: “Iker, you’re in a crappy mood. ” Iker in turn retorted, “I can’t say anything to you, joder.”  To which Sergio responded, “what is it that you want, tío?”  The second part of the conversation went like this: “I’ve been telling you for more than an hour now, joder, puta madre…  Be a little more active.  I can’t do what the hell I want.”

A note for those of you who are learning Spanish and may visit Spain: this little conversation includes many words that come up in everyday conversations, but which you might not learn, so take note.

FOUR.  When Fábio Coentrão – sporting a new, combination punk and mullet hairstyle – checked into the game, the cheers and applause that Karim Benzema had received quickly turned to whistles, due to that cigarette smoking episode, which el madridismo obviously thought was not the right image or behavior for the footballer to have.  He received more whistles during the 15 minutes or so he was on the field.   I feel bad for him, but we really hold our players to some very high standards, and anyone seen as not giving 110 percent (we love those who try, even if they don’t succeed) will feel the wrath of the fans.

FIVE.  Case in point: Nuri Sahin received a nice ovation when he entered, because he’s been a great professional.  The last time Nuri played was on Dec. 20 in the Bernabéu in the Copa del Rey against Ponfe, when he scored.  The last Liga game he had minutes in was on Nov. 6, against Osasuna.  Since we’re playing Osasuna next, it more or less means that he hasn’t played for an entire half season.  Meanwhile, this was Jesé’s debut in the Liga.  He came in for Cristiano, who received a standing ovation.  I like that Karim and Cris were subbed out so they could hear and see how much the Bernabéu adores them.

SIX.  With both of their partners (Pepe and Carvalho) missing, Cris and Kaká were left with each other, much to our delight.

SEVEN.  Our rich, handsome and fantastic goal scoring machine trio was responsible for all five goals on the night, which they managed despite Real Sociedad lining up five defenders to contain them (that’s a great compliment, no?).  Cris, Karim and Gonzalo have scored 92 goals in all competitions so far this season (Cris has 45, Benzema 25 and Pipa 22).  They have a shot at beating the record of 100 goals that Eto’o, Henry and Messi set in 2008-09, and I’m sure the record will fall as there are nine Liga games left and at least two Champions League games (and up to five).  This trio is also responsible for 67.15 percent of all the goals scored this season (92 of 137).

Meanwhile, this Madrid team could break Madrid and the Liga’s single season goal record.  With 29 jornadas completed, the boys have scored 95 goals between them, and are only 13 away for beating the record of 107 set by Madrid in the 1989-90 season.  If they continue at their current pace of 3.27 goals per game, they should finish the season at around 124.

EIGHT.  Obviously, Álvaro Arbeloa is wondering why Raúl Albiol has suddenly been so attracted to Pipita lately, and in this game, he tried to determine whether it was because Pipita smells good.

NINE.  Karim and Kaká did this particular high-five routine three times – once after each of Karim’s goals, and as Karim was leaving the field to be subbed out.  I wonder if it has any special meaning? 

TEN.  The law of silence continued after the game, with no coach post-game press conference, and no players speaking in the mixed zone, and Óscar Ribot coming out to inform everyone of that fact.  Emilio Butragueño did speak to Canal Plus, however, although I think the press would have preferred to hear from Mou/Karanka and the players.  The silence will be broken on Monday in Cyprus, since CL rules obligate the coach and a player to speak to the press on the day before the game, or else the club will have to pay a fine.

ELEVEN.  Apparently, Mou watched the game from one of the palcos, eschewing his front row seat, and used Silvino and Chendo (and their mobile phones) to get orders to Aitor Karanka.  Aitor and Chendo did have some Mou-like moments.  And, José Ramón Sandoval (coach of Rayo Vallecano) watched the game from the stands.  Plus, the Ultras chanted Eládio Paramés’ name at one point.  I’ll let them have each other, and hopefully they’ll stop getting on the nerves of the rest of us.

By the way, Madrid’s record with Aitor Karanka in charge is almost perfect: five wins and a tie (wins against Levante in the Copa and Auxerre in the CL and a tie against Barcelona in the CL last year, and wins against Dinamo Zagreb and Ajax this year).

TWELVE.  I hate seeing Iker upset, but I love the way he expresses himself.

THIRTEEN.  Luckily, there wasn’t too much of this type of sentiment on the night.

FOURTEEN.  The Xabi Alonso pose section.™

I wonder who would win a pose-off, him or Nagore?

If Xabi snapped his fingers at me, I would come running.

FIFTEEN.  Spotted in the players’ palco: Mesut Özil (in white with the scarf), José Callejón, his girlfriend Marta, Nagore and Clarisse.

Zinedine was also at the game.

SIXTEEN.  I love it!  Just one booking for us (and it wasn’t for insulting the referee), no expulsions and no other incidents for both players and coaches!  What a contrast to the previous game…

SEVENTEEN.  Saving the best for (almost) last.  Álvaro should just be shirtless, all the time.  It also looks like Sergio and Iker made up.

EIGHTEEN.  I bet Sergio had his eye on Jesé’s belt, knowing his fondness for enormous buckles.