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ICYMI – the therapy edition

March 26, 2012

In case you missed it – Real Madrid vs. Real Sociedad [2012-03-24, Liga jornada 30, 5-1].

This game was very therapeutic, no?  I have absolutely hated all the recent drama, and I just wanted to see a good football game, and I got that Saturday night at the Bernabéu.

ONE. Álvaro Arbeloa, his thighs and Xabi Alonso rallying the troops before the game.  Need I say more?

TWO.  I guess Iker wore yellow socks so that no one would confuse him with one of the referees.  After all, they’ve become José Mourinho’s mortal enemies.

THREE. Iker was upset with the defense as the first half drew to an end.  As the players were walking off the field at the conclusion of the first half, Iker started talking with Sergio, and it looked like a very heated conversation, with lots of hand gestures and motions.  According to the analysts over at Cuatro, Iker was telling Sergio that he wanted a wall made up of only four men in free kick situations, and the field players had been lining up in walls of five.  They were still arguing as they headed into the tunnel.

Cuatro also showed us this conversation, mostly between Iker and Sergio, several minutes earlier.

First, Iker told Kaká to get out of the wall.  Then after the kick had been taken, “¡la puta madre!”  Then he shouted at Sergio, “you don’t realize that I can’t see anything?  ¡Hostia!”  Sergio’s response was: “Iker, you’re in a crappy mood. ” Iker in turn retorted, “I can’t say anything to you, joder.”  To which Sergio responded, “what is it that you want, tío?”  The second part of the conversation went like this: “I’ve been telling you for more than an hour now, joder, puta madre…  Be a little more active.  I can’t do what the hell I want.”

A note for those of you who are learning Spanish and may visit Spain: this little conversation includes many words that come up in everyday conversations, but which you might not learn, so take note.

FOUR.  When Fábio Coentrão – sporting a new, combination punk and mullet hairstyle – checked into the game, the cheers and applause that Karim Benzema had received quickly turned to whistles, due to that cigarette smoking episode, which el madridismo obviously thought was not the right image or behavior for the footballer to have.  He received more whistles during the 15 minutes or so he was on the field.   I feel bad for him, but we really hold our players to some very high standards, and anyone seen as not giving 110 percent (we love those who try, even if they don’t succeed) will feel the wrath of the fans.

FIVE.  Case in point: Nuri Sahin received a nice ovation when he entered, because he’s been a great professional.  The last time Nuri played was on Dec. 20 in the Bernabéu in the Copa del Rey against Ponfe, when he scored.  The last Liga game he had minutes in was on Nov. 6, against Osasuna.  Since we’re playing Osasuna next, it more or less means that he hasn’t played for an entire half season.  Meanwhile, this was Jesé’s debut in the Liga.  He came in for Cristiano, who received a standing ovation.  I like that Karim and Cris were subbed out so they could hear and see how much the Bernabéu adores them.

SIX.  With both of their partners (Pepe and Carvalho) missing, Cris and Kaká were left with each other, much to our delight.

SEVEN.  Our rich, handsome and fantastic goal scoring machine trio was responsible for all five goals on the night, which they managed despite Real Sociedad lining up five defenders to contain them (that’s a great compliment, no?).  Cris, Karim and Gonzalo have scored 92 goals in all competitions so far this season (Cris has 45, Benzema 25 and Pipa 22).  They have a shot at beating the record of 100 goals that Eto’o, Henry and Messi set in 2008-09, and I’m sure the record will fall as there are nine Liga games left and at least two Champions League games (and up to five).  This trio is also responsible for 67.15 percent of all the goals scored this season (92 of 137).

Meanwhile, this Madrid team could break Madrid and the Liga’s single season goal record.  With 29 jornadas completed, the boys have scored 95 goals between them, and are only 13 away for beating the record of 107 set by Madrid in the 1989-90 season.  If they continue at their current pace of 3.27 goals per game, they should finish the season at around 124.

EIGHT.  Obviously, Álvaro Arbeloa is wondering why Raúl Albiol has suddenly been so attracted to Pipita lately, and in this game, he tried to determine whether it was because Pipita smells good.

NINE.  Karim and Kaká did this particular high-five routine three times – once after each of Karim’s goals, and as Karim was leaving the field to be subbed out.  I wonder if it has any special meaning? 

TEN.  The law of silence continued after the game, with no coach post-game press conference, and no players speaking in the mixed zone, and Óscar Ribot coming out to inform everyone of that fact.  Emilio Butragueño did speak to Canal Plus, however, although I think the press would have preferred to hear from Mou/Karanka and the players.  The silence will be broken on Monday in Cyprus, since CL rules obligate the coach and a player to speak to the press on the day before the game, or else the club will have to pay a fine.

ELEVEN.  Apparently, Mou watched the game from one of the palcos, eschewing his front row seat, and used Silvino and Chendo (and their mobile phones) to get orders to Aitor Karanka.  Aitor and Chendo did have some Mou-like moments.  And, José Ramón Sandoval (coach of Rayo Vallecano) watched the game from the stands.  Plus, the Ultras chanted Eládio Paramés’ name at one point.  I’ll let them have each other, and hopefully they’ll stop getting on the nerves of the rest of us.

By the way, Madrid’s record with Aitor Karanka in charge is almost perfect: five wins and a tie (wins against Levante in the Copa and Auxerre in the CL and a tie against Barcelona in the CL last year, and wins against Dinamo Zagreb and Ajax this year).

TWELVE.  I hate seeing Iker upset, but I love the way he expresses himself.

THIRTEEN.  Luckily, there wasn’t too much of this type of sentiment on the night.

FOURTEEN.  The Xabi Alonso pose section.™

I wonder who would win a pose-off, him or Nagore?

If Xabi snapped his fingers at me, I would come running.

FIFTEEN.  Spotted in the players’ palco: Mesut Özil (in white with the scarf), José Callejón, his girlfriend Marta, Nagore and Clarisse.

Zinedine was also at the game.

SIXTEEN.  I love it!  Just one booking for us (and it wasn’t for insulting the referee), no expulsions and no other incidents for both players and coaches!  What a contrast to the previous game…

SEVENTEEN.  Saving the best for (almost) last.  Álvaro should just be shirtless, all the time.  It also looks like Sergio and Iker made up.

EIGHTEEN.  I bet Sergio had his eye on Jesé’s belt, knowing his fondness for enormous buckles.

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31 Comments leave one →
  1. Jenny permalink
    March 26, 2012 15:59

    I was under the impression smoking was legal in Spain?

    How wonderfully puritanical – and from a football crowd! LOL

    A lovely spam for a beautiful game. Thank you Una!

    • Kristen permalink
      March 26, 2012 22:24

      Smoking is legal in Spain, but really stupid if you are a footballer trying to win a spot on the greatest futbol team in the world! You should be in optimum form, not ruining your lungs. With that said, I was pretty surprised to see him get booed so badly, I felt bad for him a bit too. But hey, that’s what you get!

      • Jenny permalink
        March 28, 2012 16:14

        I was being sarcastic, obviously.

        Of course it was wrong of him – but it is still as you say, legal behaviour, and jeers about something like that coming from parts of a crowd that do not always behave well simply amused me and I wished to point this out.

        Any football fans in any stands in any stadium in the world chiding anyone for a single cigarette at a a party seems excessively puritanical, from my point of view – almost an American attitude, actually.

        • Kristen permalink
          March 29, 2012 18:01

          I understood your sarcasm, just explaining a differing viewpoint. Nice dig at Americans there, too. How original! 🙂 Not sure I have run into any “puritanical” Americans lately, but maybe the live in the Midwest or something? hehe. Anyway, looks like Coentrao got a big start this week so hopefully he is back on Mou’s good side, I like him and hope he wins the fans back over too.

  2. Nokwanda Khoza permalink
    March 26, 2012 16:25

    it absolutely was theraputic Una!! this match was exacctly wat we needd to see from teh guys after our last two matches(disasters). it was brilliant-restored any faith that may have been lost(not by me though) bt it was BRILLIANT!!! love my team!!! madridista 4eva

  3. Pepegirl permalink
    March 26, 2012 16:39

    Thanks for helping me to learn Spanish, Una! Part 3 was very interesting.

    I looked up all of those words in italics in my giant Spanish-English dictionary and so now I am much better educated. Yes, you are right – we did not cover those expressions in class!

    I am taking adult education classes in Spanish. I explained to the teacher that I was learning the language so that I could have a conversation with Sergio should I happen to bump into him – but I hope it would be a friendly one not requiring any of those phrases…

    Thanks for this cheerful post. Let’s hope we can keep our spirits up for a bit longer.

  4. Ally permalink
    March 26, 2012 16:55

    Awesome post once again 🙂
    I’m glad we recovered from those ties and wow, did we recover well 😀
    it’s good to see Seriker laughing together at the end!

  5. noviana noor aisyiah permalink
    March 26, 2012 17:02

    who’s clarise una?
    oh now evertimes i see madrid played, i always think, oh this moment will una post it, this this and this. haha! you’re rock una!
    greeting from Indonesia

    • unamadridista permalink*
      March 27, 2012 14:45

      Clarisse is Marcelo’s wife.

  6. Sarah, Madrid permalink
    March 26, 2012 17:07

    I love name of the topic!! Seriously what the doctor ordered

  7. superfan permalink
    March 26, 2012 17:22

    We all needed a game like this after the last 2 games!! I’m definitely taking notes of the spanish lessons brought to me by players. 😉 hahaha.

    Thank you for this wonderful post! And so jealous you get to watch the games live. One dayyyy. 🙂

  8. ThatPerson permalink
    March 26, 2012 17:26

    That double handclapping that Karima nd Kaka did is definitely a French thing. I’ve seen the French national team do it a lot.
    And Sergio saying: “Iker, you’re in a crappy mood. ” This is downright adorable 🙂

  9. March 26, 2012 17:41

    I loved this entry. Thank you Una.

  10. AJ Nelson permalink
    March 26, 2012 18:57

    “Álvaro should just be shirtless, all the time.” AGREED! Lucky Carlota. I am pretty sure it took me a good hour to cool down after that shot 🙂

  11. Susie permalink
    March 26, 2012 19:21

    Hi Una, do you know why Sergio’s fingers are always taped together? I’ve been wondering about this for a while now and no one seems to know.

    • unamadridista permalink*
      March 27, 2012 14:46

      Never thought about it, to be honest…

      • Mouah permalink
        March 28, 2012 19:19

        There’s a skit from Crackovia on that subject 🙂 One adhesive plaster is supposed to be a reminder of another on his finger and so on, and then he doesn’t remember why he put the last one ! I realize this comment is useless, but men this is funny !!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23guw11R2Gs (0:55 and 2:55)

  12. sidney permalink
    March 26, 2012 20:56

    Pobrecito Coentrao:(:( lol. I dont think smoking is illegal in Spain per se but as a sportsman it is one of the unhealthiest habit that you could have so I guess thats why some fans and Mou really condone Coentrao’s actions.
    Excellent game , what more can I say other than, that I love this team, love Cris and love this blog:):):)

  13. March 27, 2012 00:09

    I think Ozil was at the game too, I can bet that person with the scarf above Callejon belongs to Ozil!!

    • unamadridista permalink*
      March 27, 2012 14:47

      It is Mesut, as I wrote.

  14. Flora permalink
    March 27, 2012 03:05

    Under section 15 who is Clarisse?

    • unamadridista permalink*
      March 27, 2012 14:46

      Marcelo’s wife.

  15. J@nicejgm permalink
    March 27, 2012 04:07

    Thank you Una, for always keeping us updated. I like the info, you are a genius. Love it.

    I really have a question and i don’t know if i will get the answer, i hope i will get it from anyone. What is it with the history of the ultras? i get the feeling that there are like 2 groups in the stadium and, why most of them don’t like the ultras.

  16. Sara permalink
    March 27, 2012 04:39

    So Fabio was whistled for smoking one cigarrette but then Pepe steps on someone else’s hand and they support him? First of all, I love both of them, but I dont think we should be whistling at our own players.
    . I love seeing Zidane at our football games.
    . Arbeloa shirtless makes everything better.

    • Jenny permalink
      March 28, 2012 16:16

      You put it so well! That’s precisely what I think.

      Hence my disdain for the crowd’s disapproval in my comments above.

      But then you put it so much better than I did!

      • unamadridista permalink*
        March 29, 2012 15:12

        Here’s my take on it. Coentrão received boos from several sectors of the Bernabéu, because what they think is that here’s a player who hasn’t played very well this year and has not yet justified the high price Madrid paid for him. He’s coming off of an injury, trying to make it back and so he should know better than to be smoking a cigarette at this delicate point. They see it as a lack of commitment to the team.

        As for those people that Sara mentioned who support Pepe for stepping on someone’s hand, that would be the more radical fans, such as the Ultra Sur. They justify this type of behavior as Pepe defending the team and so they reward this type of conduct.

        So, to sum up, the majority of those who booed Coentrão are not the same ones who cheer on Pepe, and in addition, there are some who see Pepe’s behavior as being for the good of the team, and Coentrão’s act as an individual act not done for the good of the team.

        • Kristen permalink
          March 29, 2012 18:02

          Perfectly said, Una.

  17. Cosi permalink
    March 27, 2012 05:00

    lol that last gif of Sergio smiling at Iker. Cheeky!!!

    I felt for Iker when that goal went through from Sergio’s deflection. Pobrecito!

    “I guess Iker wore yellow socks so that no one would confuse him with one of the referees.” HAHA! I like him in that outift, though- reminded me of his amazingness during the 2008 semi-final shootout match with Italy in the Euro Cup. Ahh! ^_^

    And loved seeing Zidane intensely watching from the box. What a legend.

    THAAAAANKS, UNA!!!

  18. Marie permalink
    March 27, 2012 05:21

    Iker and Sergio’s argument sounds like an old married couple – we know they love each other really 😛 So nice to have a drama free game! I hope this is the new trend.

  19. @ulonghaz permalink
    March 28, 2012 05:13

    just had the time to read this post..
    i dunno what to say, Una..I bet your eyes had gone tired to read this word >> PERFECT

  20. March 28, 2012 05:21

    i can’t for the life of me understand why iker didn’t wear the banana kit, given how close his was to the referees’ uniforms. the yellow socks with the black kit just looked weird, like he’d forgotten his black socks at home or something.

    i knew the minute that goal went in with a little help from sergio that iker was going to be PISSED. it was strangely attractive (jajaja … can’t help it, but he’s so hot when he’s all shouty like that!) but i felt so badly for him, he was so angry (and rightly so). it’s so rare to see the two of them disagree or argue, i almost felt sorry for iker because as you say, he just wasn’t having any of sergio’s attempts at reconciliation. i do appreciate the translation of their conversation, though. i imagined my own dialogue. ;p

    coentrão’s haircut reminds me of an actor from a TV show called roswell, many years ago, named brendan fehr. exact same haircut and similar features, and it didn’t suit him, either. it’s unfortunate he was whistled, but i can see why.

    i stupidly got all excited because i could have SWORN i saw albiol warming up on the sidelines during the match, but no joy. methinks he isn’t long for the real madrid world … i hope i’m wrong. maybe that’s why arbeloa pre-emptively cut the ties? less painful now than a tearful end-of-season departure? i do love me a shirtless arbeloa, though … mmm.

    much as i love mou, is it wrong that i feel equally as confident when karanka is in charge? i have a soft spot for him.

    jese! run away, quickly! you’re young! there’s a chance you can escape with your fashion sensability intact still!

    this match was just what the doctor ordered and made me, and many others i’m sure, feel much better. thank you for the post! 🙂

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